You take 16 credits, and what do you get?
A few months older, and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter don’t you call me cause I can’t go,
I owe my soul to the campus book store.
It’s been a tiring day.
In class, I had to give a presentation that I was way under prepared for. Nervous, tired, over-caffeinated, and desperate to avoid silence, I managed to do all of the following in the first five minutes of the presentation:
- Say that I had been up the night before, drinking and listening to Johnny Cash
- Insult the professor
- Insult the university
- Insult the students in my class
- Claim that a false statement was a theorem
Tonight I went to the Seattle Wireless meeting, which was a lot of fun.
After the meeting I came home and wrote a 7 page essay for my Ethics class. Here’s an except you might like from the rough draft:
Suppose that I were to learn that someone was planning to attack me tomorrow night with the intention of killing me in cold blood. I investigate the matter, and in the process find multitudes of evidence implicating my neighbor. Along the way I even find evidence that my neighbor has killed before!
I even get my neighbor to write his own review of the evidence, telling him that it’s data I collected on some other guy who I’m trying to exonerate – you know, to motivate him to refute it.
I then pick 12 honest citizens – say, from a Craigslist ad – to review the evidence and read my neighbor’s rebuttal. In the end, they all agree: the evidence is pretty convincing that my neighbor is guilty.
So I do the only rational thing: I go to Walmart and buy a metal folding chair, some chains, and some wire. I then go to my neighbor’s house, shotgun in hand (also purchased at Walmart), kick down the door and capture my neighbor while he’s in the shower (it’s best to come when they’re least able to attack you). I chain him up and bring him back to my house, lock him to the chair, and wire him up to the nearest 220 outlet and watch the sparks fly.
Justice is done! I managed to execute a known murderer and save myself at the same time. The public is safer, and retribution has been had. I did exactly what the State would have done, so vigilante behavior aside, it’s all the same.
Of course, what if the evidence I collected was faulty? What if I was predisposed to believing his guilt, and therefore was willing to accept the dubious testimony of my other neighbor? What if my neighbor wasn’t competent enough to write a convincing rebuttal?
What if I just killed an innocent man?
Anyway, it’s now time for some long-overdue sleep. See you tomorrow!